More from Psychopath Resistance: Don’t be Duped

fooled

See also: Denying, Discounting, and Dismissing Abuse

Dr. Sam Vaknin explains: “Even the victim’s relatives, friends, and colleagues are amenable to the considerable charm, persuasiveness, and manipulativeness of the abuser and to his impressive thespian skills.”

“In contrast, the victims are often on the verge of a nervous breakdown: harassed, unkempt, irritable, impatient, abrasive, and hysterical.”

https://psychopathresistance.wordpress.com/2015/08/15/dont-be-duped/

Distortion Campaigns

From Psychopathresistance and Angiemedia [for our purposes I have substituted psychopath for BPD/borderline]:

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[Psychopath] Distortion Campaigns

Written by: Rob
December 29th, 2008

One of the classic behaviors of a person suffering from [psychopathy] is the vilification campaign. The target is the person against whom the perpetrator [psychopath] conducts the vilification. The intent is to destroy the target’s reputation and thereby destroy the target’s relationships with family and friends, employers, co-workers, doctors, teachers, therapists, and others. The intent may even be to force the target to leave the community, put the target in prison, or even kill the target. As with so many things involving [psychopaths] and their typical inability to understand or respect boundaries, there really are no limits. They will use basically any means available to them to cause damage to their target, including denigration, endless disparaging remarks, fabrication, false accusations, and even teaching others (including their children!) to lie on their behalf as part of their vilification campaign.

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Related:

https://psychopathresistance.wordpress.com/2015/09/03/distortion-campaigns/

 

She looks human, but she’s not — Michelle Carter

Teen eggs on “boyfriend” to commit suicide, just for the jollies.

“Texts reveal that a teen pressured her friend into committing suicide

After 18-year-old Conrad Roy III died of carbon monoxide poisoning in his car, prosecutors released text messages that allegedly show Roy’s friend, Michelle Carter, pressuring Roy to kill himself. She told him that his suicide would not cause emotional distress for his parents.

Carter, now 18, is being charged with involuntary manslaughter. The Bristol County District Attorney’s office released the text messages in a response to a motion filed by Carter’s lawyer to dismiss the charges. Carter now faces 20 years in prison. According to documents obtained by PEOPLE, Carter sent messages to Roy that read:

“You just have to do it. Tonight is the night. It’s painless and quick.”

After Roy expressed that he was hesitant about killing himself and unsure if he wanted to go through with it. Carter allegedly responded:

“You always say you’re gonna do it, but you never do. I just want to make sure tonight is the real thing.”

Carter allegedly wet on to assure Roy that his parents would be understanding about his suicide. She told him that they would be able to accept Roy’s decision given his negative mental state. She said via text:

“I think your parents know you’re in a really bad place. I’m not saying they want you to do it but I honestly feel like they can accept it.”

In the texts, Carter helped Roy come up with a suicide plan. They decided on carbon monoxide poisoning after Carter explained that it would be fast and painless. She sent a text that read:

“You lose consciousness with no pain. You just fall asleep and die.”

Despite encouraging him to kill himself, Carter allegedly called Roy “the love of my life, my boyfriend. You are my heart. I’d never leave you.” When Roy texted Carter that he was ready to go through with the suicide, she texted:

“Good because it’s time, babe. You know that. When you get back from the beach you’ve gotta go do it. You’re ready. You’re determined. It’s the best time to do it.”

According to the documents, Carter and Roy spoke on the phone for over an hour as she persuaded him to remain in the vehicle even as the carbon monoxide began to run. After the suicide was complete, Carter allegedly texted a friend:

“His death is my fault. Like, I honestly could have stopped it. I was the one on the phone with him and he got out of the car because [the carbon monoxide] was working and I [expletive] told him to get back in.””

http://www.aol.com/article/2015/08/31/texts-reveal-that-a-teen-pressured-her-friend-into-committing-su/21229762/

More:  http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,39428.msg598943.html?PHPSESSID=0c2971a09a8172063a93e47230844515#msg598943

Post Redux: Blackmailed victims are just as dangerous as the blackmailing psychopath

I’m splitting this section off from Search:  “I’m being blackmailed by a sociopath, what can I do?”.  It was a mistake to include this discussion, to switch viewpoints, in a post visited by those distraught at being blackmailed.

[Switching viewpoints,]  if you are a victim of a psychopathic harassment, slander (or whispering) or bullying campaign then you must view any blackmailed (by the same psychopath) friend as an enemy. Psychopaths love to get others to commit their crimes or dirty work.

As an example but in a different situation, I recall a contract killing in which the psychopathic contractee convinced the eventual murderer (a paranoid with actual enemies) that the target of the contract was out to get him, so he acted first.  The psychopath:  ‘Chortle, chortle,’ as he collected the remaining money on the contract (none of which he had to share) — also, legally, his hands were clean, the law couldn’t touch him.

Looking at blackmail from the psychopath’s viewpoint, many psychopaths experience life as strangers in a strange land, as is often said.  They live surrounded by weirdos (us) doing things they can’t understand for reasons they can’t understand.  The need for security can become topmost.  Blackmail simply becomes a tool for that end.  It can become their main tool-for-life as education and hardwork are for the rest of us.

I once had the rare opportunity to possibly bring blackmail charges as a third party.  However, the situation involved a woman who I considered a good friend.  I was also friends with her husband and sometimes gave her child gifts.  I didn’t want to harm her life or her family, so I didn’t follow up.

To paraphrase, an act of evil is like throwing a pebble into a pond, you never know where the ripples are going to reach.  One doesn’t want to be the cause of further misery.  But what course of action would actually lead to the least misery?  I now absolutely view a blackmailed victim as being complicit in a criminal compact.

The case follows, at one point my friend, A, a manager, fired individual, X.  However she was incapable of offering a reason for the firing to her superiors and was forced to rehire him.  The rumor was that it involved pictures.  From various hints and sources, the surmise is that A refused to believe her psychopathic lover, Z, would actually blackmail her, so Z showed his friend (and male lover) X the photos in front of A.  So in revenge and to assert some power A tried to fire X.

Around the same time A was repeatedly telling blackmail jokes that no one else laughed at.  For example, at an office party she and I had our picture taken together.  Later she repeatedly joked that I had had it altered to show a sex act and was using it to blackmail her.  I believe she was using these jokes, in effect, to tell us she was being blackmailed and to somehow deal with it emotionally.

The reader might wonder why I thought A and Z were involved in the first place.  The sequence went like this, first A spoke often about Z, often remarking on what troubles Z had (the psychopath was setting the pity play); second, they would go out for drinks more or less publicly; third A stopped talking about Z completely but one would often see them talking very quietly, standing very close to each other.  In addition one time another suspected lover/devotee [FN1] of the psychopath Z (a Don Juan or love thug, no doubt with hundreds, if not thousands, of lovers of both sexes [FN2]) started complaining to me (I don’t know why) that A needed to go home and spend more time with her husband and family.  It seemed clear that she was angry with the competition and wanted to express that anger.  I’m sure she didn’t think I would know what she was talking about.

Anyway, I suspect that X, the third party accessory, could have been the key to a prosecution of Z, the psychopath.  X would have needed to have been persuaded to testify to what he knew, or perhaps threatened with arrest himself as an accessory to felony blackmail.  He might have realized  his situation however, for not long after he moved across the country.  Perhaps he also have feared for his physical safety if his psychopathic lover, Z, ever recognized his, X’s, danger to Z.

The psychopath involved is of the “alien masquerading as a human” category who should be involuntarily committed to a mental hospital, in my opinion.  It is clear that the public wants to be protected from sociopaths/psychopaths from the numerous sexual predator laws.  I believe mental hospitals should be reopened or be used more often to protect the public from incorrigible psychopathic transgressors.

This particular individual (Z) lives to destroy others, imo — it’s his source of emotionless enjoyment (if such is possible).  It would have been a good bargain for the world to have incarcerated him (or even try to prosecute him) even if it had destroyed my erstwhile friend’s marriage.  Loose, I’m sure he’s destroyed other couples and families, probably caused death(s) through heart attacks brought on by stress and emotional devastation, or perhaps outright murders (I have no doubt he  would be capable of them).

My advice to anyone who is a victim of a psychopathic harassment campaign to always make the self-interested defense choice.  One should never say that the situation is done and over.  A blackmailed friend can actually do you more harm than the blackmailing psychopath since no one will assume ulterior motives on your ex-friend’s part and the bad blood which might be known to exist between you and the psychopath won’t be considered.  You have to protect yourself and let the chips fall where they may.  The blackmailed party has made his or her choice.

FN1: It is worth noting that this individual was actually engaged to be married at the time.  She described her fiancee as someone “who would be a good father” — i.e., Mr. Boring.  It didn’t seem that either had any guilt about “stepping out” with the psychopath, Z.  Perhaps it was too close to comforting-a-child.  This may also explain why the women I have known who destroyed a marriage or primary relationship through an affair with a psychopath were so shocked and confused, seemingly they didn’t see it coming.  I’ve certainly known men who destroyed their primary relationships through such affairs, but I never knew them to be surprised.

FN2: Such individuals are often described as having unusually strong sex drives — I don’t see it that way.  Seduction and sex are lifetools for psychopathic Don Juans — they are seeking safety and security, they exercise dominance, they gain protectors or even livelihoods (they may be able to live off the willing loans of girlfriends (which is a crime)).  Further, since there is zero emotional involvement, boredom is a huge driving force.  If you and I could only have sex with blow-up dolls we would probably go in for variety ourselves.  They are not sex addicts, they are bored silly.

Naive Prey Response Syndrome

In nature, this refers to prey animals not being able to recognize predators.  When wolves were reintroduced to Yellow Stone the elk were not able at first to recognize them as a danger.  Animals isolated on islands, are famous for this syndrome and often are not able to change fast enough, for example, the flightless pigeon, the Dodo, which sailors could just walk up to and hit on the head.

We are all raised to be naive prey of psychopaths.  Everyone is told the fairytale that we are all brothers and sisters under the skin.  But what if that is not so?  And it is not.  Believe me, psychopaths believe we are all idiots for not recognizing them.

On top of that, the human female starts out as genetically inclined to be naive prey to psychopaths.  Male psychopaths have evolved to evoke genetically determined instincts (mothering and caring-of-a-child instincts) in women.  Life can teach them otherwise, as attested in the survivor blogs.  However, all men need to be aware of the female propensity to be naive regarding psychopaths, it might prevent traumatic shock.  The truth is, you can’t save Weena.

Two recent searches: “can i stay with my sociopath son” & “mom being blackmailed by son i own you”

These pretty much speak for themselves.  To ask the first one is essentially to answer it.  Plus the second one definitely answers the first.

Two things, first, a parent needs to assess how “full dose” (genetic dose), how “alien” their child is.  Second, trust his or her instincts — when dealing with psychopaths one must be willing to follow “paranoid trains of thought” because they may not be paranoid at all.  My favorite example of the second is the man who doubted his wife so much he slept with a revolver.  He wasn’t paranoid enough by half, she killed him by shooting him in the stomach, claiming he rolled over the gun and shot himself.

[This post seemed to bother my cyber minder.  He/she cut the internet connection twice.]

“Inside the Mind of a Sociopath”

“This excerpt is from: “The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless vs. the Rest of Us” by Martha Stout Ph.D. (Broadway Books, New York, 2005, ISBN 0-7679-1581-X).  Martha Stout is a clinical instructor at Harvard Medical School and elaborates on the tales of ruthlessness in everyday life based on her 25 years of practice as a specialist in the treatment of psychological trauma survivors.”  [http://www.cix.co.uk/~klockstone/spath.htm, and below]


“Imagine – if you can – not having a conscience, none at all, no feelings of guilt or remorse no matter what you do, no limiting sense of concern of the well-being of strangers, friends, or even family members.  Imagine no struggles with shame, not a single one in your whole life, no matter what kind of selfish, lazy, harmful, or immoral action you had taken.  And pretend that the concept of responsibility is unknown to you, except as a burden others seem to accept without question, like gullible fools.  Now add to this strange fantasy the ability to conceal from other people that your psychological makeup is radically different from theirs.  Since everyone simply assumes that conscience is universal among human beings, hiding the fact that you are conscience-free is nearly effortless.  You are not held back from any of your desires by guilt or shame, and you are never confronted by others for your cold-bloodedness.  The ice water in your veins is so bizarre, so completely outside of their personal experience that they seldom even guess at your condition.

In other words, you are completely free of internal restraints, and your unhampered liberty to do just as you please, with no pangs of conscience, is conveniently invisible to the world.  You can do anything at all, and still your strange advantage over the majority of people, who are kept in line by their consciences, will most likely remain undiscovered.

How will you live your life?  What will you do with your huge and secret advantage, and with the corresponding handicap of other people (conscience)?  The answer will depend largely on just what your desires happen to be, because people are not all the same.  Even the profoundly unscrupulous are not all the same.  Some people – whether they have a conscience or not – favor the ease of inertia, while others are filled with dreams and wild ambitions.  Some human beings are brilliant and talented, some are dull-witted, and most, conscience or not, are somewhere in between.  There are violent people and non-violent ones, individuals who are motivated by blood lust and those who have no such appetites.

Maybe you are someone who craves money and power, and though you have no vestige of conscience, you do have a magnificent IQ.  You have the driving nature and the intellectual capacity to pursue tremendous wealth and influence, and you are in no way moved by the nagging voice of conscience that prevents other people from doing everything and anything they have to do to succeed.  You choose business, politics, the law, banking or international development, or any of a broad array of other power professions, and you pursue your career with a cold passion that tolerates none of the usual moral or legal encumbrances.  When it is expedient, you doctor the accounting and shred the evidence, you stab your employees and your clients (or your constituency) in the back, marry for money, tell lethal premeditated lies to people who trust you, attempt to ruin colleagues who are powerful or eloquent, and simply steamroll over groups who are dependent and voiceless.  And all of this you do with the exquisite freedom that results from having no conscience whatsoever.

You become unimaginably, unassailably, and maybe even globally successful.  Why not?  With your big brain, and no conscience to rein in your schemes, you can do anything at all.

Or no – let us say you are not quite such a person.  You are ambitious, yes, and in the name of success you are willing to do all manner of things that people with conscience would never consider, but you are not an intellectually gifted individual.  Your intelligence is above average perhaps, and people think of you as smart, maybe even very smart.  But you know in your heart of hearts that you do not have the cognitive wherewithal, or the creativity, to reach the careening heights of power you secretly dreams about, and this makes you resentful of the world at large, and envious of the people around you.

As this sort of person, you ensconce yourself in a niche, or maybe a series of niches, in which you can have some amount of control over small numbers of people.  These situations satisfy a little of your desire for power, although you are chronically aggravated at not having more.  It chafes to be so free of the ridiculous inner voices that inhibit others from achieving great power, without having enough talent to pursue the ultimate successes yourself.  Sometimes you fall into sulky, rageful moods caused by a frustration that no one but you understands.

But you do enjoy jobs that afford you a certain undersupervised control over a few individuals or small groups, preferably people and groups who are relatively helpless or in some way vulnerable.  You are a teacher or a psychotherapist, a divorce lawyer or a high school coach.  Or maybe you are a consultant of some kind, a broker or a gallery owner or a human services director.  Or maybe you do not have a paid position and are instead the president of your condominium association, or a volunteer hospital worker, or a parent.  Whatever your job, you manipulate and bully the people who are under your thumb, as often and as outrageously as you can without getting fired or held accountable.  You do this for its own sake, even when it serves no purpose except to give you a thrill.  Making people jump means you have power – or this is the way you see it – and bullying provides you with an adrenaline rush.  It is fun.

Maybe you cannot be a CEO of a multinational corporation, but you can frighten a few people, or cause them to scurry around like chickens, or steal from them, or – maybe, best of all – create situations that cause them to feel bad about themselves.  And this is power, especially when the people you manipulate are superior to you in some way.  Most invigorating of all is to bring down people who are smarter or more accomplished than you, or perhaps classier, more attractive or popular or morally admirable.  This is not only good fun; it is existential vengeance.  And without a conscience, it is amazingly easy to do.  You quietly lie to the boss or to the boss’s boss, cry some crocodile tears, or sabotage a coworker’s project, or gaslight a patient (or child), bait people with promises, or provide a little misinformation that will never be traced back to you.

Or now let us say you are a person who has a proclivity for violence or for seeing violence done.  You simply murder your coworker, or have her murdered – or your boss, or your ex-spouse, or your wealthy lover’s spouse, or anyone else who bothers you.  You have to be careful, because if you slip up, you may be caught and punished by the system.  But you will never be confronted by your conscience, because you have no conscience.  If you decide to kill, the only difficulties will be the external ones.  Nothing inside you will ever protest.

Provided you are not forcibly stopped, you can do anything at all.  If you are born at the right time, with some access to family fortune, and you have a special talent for whipping up other people’s hatred and sense of deprivation, you can arrange to kill large numbers of unsuspecting people.  With enough money, you can accomplish this from far away, and you can sit back safely and watch in satisfaction.  In fact, terrorism (done from a distance) is the ideal occupation for a person who is possessed of blood lust and no conscience, because if you do it just right, you may be able to make a whole nation jump.  And if that is not power, what is?

Or let us imagine the opposite extreme:  You have no interest in power.  To the contrary, you are the sort of person who really does not want much of anything.  Your only real ambition is not to have to exert yourself to get by.  You do not want to work like everyone else does.  Without a conscience, you can nap or pursue your hobbies or watch television or just hang out somewhere all day long.  Living a bit on the fringes, and with some handouts from relatives and friends, you can do this indefinitely.  People may whisper to one another that you are an underachiever, or that you are depressed, a sad case, or, in contrast, if they get angry, they may grumble that you are lazy.  When they get to know you better, and get really angry, they may scream at you and call you a loser, a bum.  But it will never occur to them that you literally do not have a conscience, that in such a fundamental way, your very mind is not the same as theirs.

The panicked feeling of a guilty conscience never squeezes at your heart or wakes you in the night.  Despite your lifestyle, you never feel irresponsible, neglectful or so much as embarrassed, although for the sake of appearances, sometimes you pretend that you do.  For example, if you are a decent observer of people and what they react to, you may adopt a lifeless facial expression, say how ashamed of your life you are, and talk about how rotten you feel.  This you do only because it is more convenient to have people think you are depressed than it is to have them shouting at you all the time, or insisting that you get a job.

You notice that people who do have a conscience feel guilty when they harangue someone they believe to be “depressed” or “troubled.”  As a matter of fact, to you further advantage, they often feel obliged to take care of such a person.  If, despite your relative poverty, you can manage to get yourself into a sexual relationship with someone, this person – who does not suspect what you are really like – may feel particularly obligated.  And since all you want is not to have to work, your financier does not have to be especially rich, just relatively conscience-bound.

I trust that imagining yourself as any of these people feels insane to you, because such people are insane, dangerously so.  Insane but real – they even have a label.  Many mental health professionals refer to the condition of little or no conscience as “anti-social personality disorder,” a non-correctable disfigurement of character that is now thought to be present in about 4 percent of the population – that is to say, one in twenty-five people.  This condition of missing conscience is called by other names, too, most often “sociopathy,” or the somewhat more familiar term psychopathy.  Guiltlessness was in fact the first personality disorder to be recognized by psychiatry, and terms that have been used at times over the past century include manie sans délire, psychopathic inferiority, moral insanity, and moral imbecility.”  http://www.cix.co.uk/~klockstone/spath.htm

https://www.bookbrowse.com/author_interviews/full/index.cfm/author_number/1097/martha-stout

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/sociopath-next-door-martha-stout/1100024283?ean=9780767915823