Search: are narcissists attracted to sociopaths?


All narcissists are delusional.  They have a delusional view of themselves and a pathological self involvement.  Sociopaths will mirror this delusion (manipulating the emotionally mentally ill is one of their highest skills) and they will make the narcissist feel the self involvement is normal.

Narcissism is actually a confusing term, there are at least three pathological types that I know of:  garden variety, malignant and rigid.  Rigid is the one I am most familiar with — the narcissism of Scott Peck’s People of the Lie, aka, the perfect, the mentally ill evil.  They have zero consideration for anyone else, their whole psychic universe is organized around protecting their perfectness.  This is why they give up the lived life, they gain total perfection.

The rest of us go through life with daggers of defeats, failures and regrets attached to our backs that tweak us now and then, because we have consciences.  Narcissists know none of this, never having made a mistake in their lives, leading a life absolutely without error (as long as they can maintain the fiction).  But the maintenance of this false world is exhausting, turning to sociopaths for enabling must be such a relief.

They are so lacking in empathy that they are often mistaken for sociopaths themselves, I term them one of the faux sociopathic states.  Joining with a sociopath mirrors their vast selfishness and disregard of others.  They often pair off with sociopaths to form an evil couple.

Furthermore, there is a phenomenon known as narcissistic catastrophe (at least for the malignant and rigid types).  The catastrophe occurs when the edifice of the false self is overwhelmed by reality, when the betrayal of their own soul is overwhelmed by their own soul needs.  At that point they are lost at sea, unable to recognize friend from foe, in personality meltdown, they probably feel they don’t even know themselves — permanent psychotic dissociation is an extreme danger.

At this point they need protection both from themselves and from sociopaths (for whom they are now like an artist’s palette).  I actually knew a rigidly narcissistic therapist to throw such a client to sociopathic manipulators.  Narcissism is that evil, almost like a personality virus that won’t allow anyone under their influence (even their own child or client) to escape narcissism to live a lived life, a soul life.

7 thoughts on “Search: are narcissists attracted to sociopaths?

  1. I have had a ‘soul dilemma’ since the age of 24, after passing up an incredible opportunity. Given that Obama has been in Alaska (and I have a friend who has lived there going on 27 years). My father was definitely a ‘rigid’ narcissist but how evil it was is debatable. My parents were like ‘shape-shifters’, changing with the tides…one day you were ‘okay’ and it was fine to dream of a better life and think outside the box…the next day you were ‘not going anywhere so forget about it…we don’t care about your life’s dreams.’
    At 24 I left my mother behind and went to Montreal where I met a handsome adventurer on his way to the Yukon. There he was. And there was I. If Fate itself brought me up there with such perfect timing, why did I not go with him? No one in my acquaintance can figure this out for me.
    Because I was highly sensitive, when this young man did not express a willingness to have me with him, I ended up sabotaging it by going back home again…yes…chills! horrors! To those rigid narcissists who gave up living themselves to maintain their ‘perfect image!’
    Maybe the saddest thing of all is that it really did not work except in their own minds.

    Oh…and I did eventually meet up with the adventurer (a year later) in Montreal and we found exciting things to do for months on end…until…

    I returned to the Land of the Dead Zone Zombies (at least I went back to get a college degree at a local school…it was not a total loss)


    • Hi Babs, I don’t usually respond to your comments because they’re standalone comments, complete in themselves. I would like you to know however that I consider your insights and reflections valuable.


  2. I think at some point psychopathy got mixed up with ADHD. I think thats why in the Hare Cleckly checklist you have some symptoms of ADHD. The most salient feature is lack of empathy, so why would being a rather aimless charming thrill seeker/risk taker be seen as displaying symptoms of psychopathy?

    It shouldn’t.

    Why couldn’t there be a free wheeling charming daredevil type person who was very empathic? I think what it is is that other types of people lack empathy along with a very rigid personality and a very confromist conservative mindset. I think people like that would be much less likely to end up in prison.

    Possibly that’s what happened. Psychopaths comorbid with ADHD most often end up in prison so those are the ones who get studdied the most.

    Possibly these types of Narcissist you are outlining are the true psychopaths and possibly being charming and a free spirit is not dysfunctional at all. Its just a personality type. Its not a disease when people have different personalities.


    • I agree with you. What makes psychopaths “stand out” is their complete lack of empathy and ability to be cruel with no regret. But people often think they also must be very intelligent and charming.


  3. Hi, could you explain a little further for me, “that is why they give up the lived life”? Is this the dynamic involved when a person chooses to become a cult leader?

    They essentially choose to give up an authentic life in order to have their perfection mirrored back at them by the group? The image that came to mind is a fly in amber. It’s perfectly preserved but no longer living, growing. Am I on the right track with this?

    Thanks for your blog, I’m finding it very helpful.


    • Give me a little time to think about this (and time to look up my earlier posts on narcissism (since I can’t count on my memory)). I like your image of a fly in amber. I would think that would fit quite a few Nero-like malignant narcissistic cult leaders (though quite a few cult leaders are sociopathic, such as Do).


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