From the comments:
I am so sad that my world of associates continues to dwindle because of the subtle words, set ups and comparisons to unlikable TV/Movie characters that my soon to be ex husband continues to make about me when around others.
He trashed my reputation to such lengths that I don’t even know where to even begin to try and 1) show these people that I am not the person he is making me out to be. . . .
I would appreciate something that may work. His behaviors and tall tales are also having an effect on my son’s social life too. I am an attractive person, a caring nice person, have always been popular and well liked. People that don’t have any idea who I am hate me because of my ex husband. He has done this to me even before we were divorcing. But now it has begun and taken hold in my new town and school district. What can I do? Something please !
@ Becca …
I know the sadness all too well. I only know a fraction of what has been said about my life and character, but those who do know the lies will never tell. I came to the conclusion after believing I could spread the truth about me that it was all too late. Those people, even family members, didn’t want to listen to me. In the eyes of many, I am an true outcast.
I eventually came to terms with what I was faced with, and instead of taking the route of continually being so depressed and not achieving anything positive, I accepted I had to let go, and erase them from my life. That included my two daughters.
In my experience, I’ve never heard a victim turn things around, though I would hope it’s happened. That has the effect of taking you down, but do not let it. Come to peace with your life and future, and the new people you will meet.
Well that’s depressing. Why are these character assassinations so believed, that the victim himself is never told the accusations? Amazing. The effects are not small, the victim’s life is absolutely devastated.
From another comment, David:
Believe me moving away does not help to much, because I believe what people go through you still live with it. I to have the same problem. The whole thing of just turning off. When I wake up everything that has happened to me starts all over again. I think about it every moment. I make bad decisions because of what’s on my mind. There are times, when I too can’t get a breath in.
It not only extends through every moment of the victim’s life, but extends outward. The victim’s stress is brought home to their family. Marriages founder. Divorces result. The victim’s preoccupation (or spreading cancer of anxiety) distorts the victim’s judgement, and causes the victim to miss cues from others, sometimes important ones. Sleep is hard, activated anxiety centers never go to sleep.
Imagine what Becca must have felt in her new town as she felt it all happening again. Her silent screams as though she were on thin ice watching the cracks seek her out, following her from her past locations, powerless to affect or stop them. Or perhaps she felt she was being pursued by ghosts that could strike her at will, but that she could neither see nor defend against.
We are all social animals. We need secure communities of friends and believe we have them. Victims of psychopathic character assassination know that is not true. For them, what was once solid ground becomes a thin crust over a sea of acid. They never know when a footfall will break through.
It should be pointed out that the psychopath’s aim is murder, murder by suicide.
The daisy chain of evil has to be broken. Or perhaps a better metaphor would be the paper cutout doll chain needs to be broken lest it unfold into infinity, damaging all it touches.
But no one helps. The psychopath’s whispering campaign is absolutely and totally believed. The victim is almost never even told, ‘the word on the street about you is . . . ., thought you should know.’ Sad.
August 10, 2015: I am simply stunned that no one has ever communicated the character assassination allegations against myself. I once offered a woman who, from one day to the next, turned her head to the wall rather than say hello to me (and we had been workplace friends for years – this pattern happened repeatedly but slowly over the years, the psychopathic perp couldn’t risk my inner circle telling me), a hundred dollars if she (or her husband if she preferred) would tell me the whyfor. Plenty of people who know me read this blog. Comments can be totally anonymous. There is no need to fill out any identifying field. Further to protect their IP address, if desired, anyone can simply go to a copy center or internet cafe. Comments are moderated so it is a private communication. If preferred there are also many free and anonymous email account providers. I just don’t get it. Where’s the downside? I would help and have helped others in similar situations.