More from Psychopath Resistance: Don’t be Duped

fooled

See also: Denying, Discounting, and Dismissing Abuse

Dr. Sam Vaknin explains: “Even the victim’s relatives, friends, and colleagues are amenable to the considerable charm, persuasiveness, and manipulativeness of the abuser and to his impressive thespian skills.”

“In contrast, the victims are often on the verge of a nervous breakdown: harassed, unkempt, irritable, impatient, abrasive, and hysterical.”

https://psychopathresistance.wordpress.com/2015/08/15/dont-be-duped/

Distortion Campaigns

From Psychopathresistance and Angiemedia [for our purposes I have substituted psychopath for BPD/borderline]:

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[Psychopath] Distortion Campaigns

Written by: Rob
December 29th, 2008

One of the classic behaviors of a person suffering from [psychopathy] is the vilification campaign. The target is the person against whom the perpetrator [psychopath] conducts the vilification. The intent is to destroy the target’s reputation and thereby destroy the target’s relationships with family and friends, employers, co-workers, doctors, teachers, therapists, and others. The intent may even be to force the target to leave the community, put the target in prison, or even kill the target. As with so many things involving [psychopaths] and their typical inability to understand or respect boundaries, there really are no limits. They will use basically any means available to them to cause damage to their target, including denigration, endless disparaging remarks, fabrication, false accusations, and even teaching others (including their children!) to lie on their behalf as part of their vilification campaign.

Continue reading…

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Related:

https://psychopathresistance.wordpress.com/2015/09/03/distortion-campaigns/

 

My greatest psychopathy teacher

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She gave me psychopathy’s family jewels.  That psychopaths had self knowledge and a group identity.  Even more importantly, that they backed each other up versus the empath world.  And finally, that their self control is actually very difficult, appearing normal is an effort.

I was called into Lehman HR by this SVP and a manager (this manager was a male lover I believe of the blackmailing psychopathic Don Juan/Dress Grey rapist whom they were seeking to protect).  They stated that my assignment at the firm was being canceled due to my handing out to friends 8-10 cut and paste sheets from Cleckley’s Mask of Sanity and Hare’s Without Conscience.  She kept saying they were sexually inappropriate. ‘But I deleted all sexual behaviors and crimes, that’s why they are cut and pastes, not straight copies,’ I said.  She just repeated the same thing again.  Her superiors wouldn’t look over her shoulder, that’s the corporate chain of command. The truth didn’t matter and there is no appeal or promise of fair play or due process in corporations.  Then when I said, against her protestations that she didn’t need to know, that I was giving them out due to the presence of a psychopathic co-worker (mentioned above), she started screaming, “WE HAVE 150,000 EMPLOYEES, OF COURSE LEHMAN HAS PSYCHOPATHIC EMPLOYEES!!”  Then she immediately and visibly calmed herself down and regained her self composure.

After leaving friends told me of rumors following my exit.  It was practically a novella. Made up out of whole cloth, not even based/exaggerated on/from something real. The only truthful elements were getting my name and a few other co-workers’ names right.  These were co-workers whom I had never interacted with off-premises.  But the novella had all kinds of goings on and involvement of outside players.

She denied any knowledge of the source of these rumors.  But I imagine the source was the Lehman HR department, from my experience with psychopathic HR departments in various Wall St. firms.  Destroying exited co-workers’ reputations is something they all do all the time, this was just more extreme.  At HR conventions, they must sit around bragging about their lies, comparing notes and refining strategies, just as psychopaths and con artists do.

I couldn’t find a lawyer who thought we could trace down the vaguely sourced campaign of lies or win an appreciable amount of money.  I should have filed a John Doe case pro se, at least as a record if I couldn’t build a case.  I settled for sending a truthful accounting to my personal friends and all the co-workers listed in the company address book.

The novella was incredibly detailed.  Perhaps that’s a standard psychopathic character assassination campaign strategy. Normal people probably just can’t imagine that such a detailed account could be a lie.  Of course, this is because they couldn’t imagine doing it themselves.  That’s part of the naive prey response syndrome, people still try to understand psychopaths from their own viewpoint, not understanding that they need to step out of their own world to understand psychopaths’ motives and to recognize them.  Finally, most of us are not only naive prey to psychopaths, but naive prey to evil.

From Country of Liars: Character Assassination


http://country-of-liars.com/6667/character-assassination-2/

From the comments:

Becca:

I am so sad that my world of associates continues to dwindle because of the subtle words, set ups and comparisons to unlikable TV/Movie characters that my soon to be ex husband continues to make about me when around others.

He trashed my reputation to such lengths that I don’t even know where to even begin to try and 1) show these people that I am not the person he is making me out to be.  . . .

I would appreciate something that may work. His behaviors and tall tales are also having an effect on my son’s social life too. I am an attractive person, a caring nice person, have always been popular and well liked. People that don’t have any idea who I am hate me because of my ex husband. He has done this to me even before we were divorcing. But now it has begun and taken hold in my new town and school district. What can I do? Something please !

Larry:

@ Becca …

I know the sadness all too well. I only know a fraction of what has been said about my life and character, but those who do know the lies will never tell. I came to the conclusion after believing I could spread the truth about me that it was all too late. Those people, even family members, didn’t want to listen to me. In the eyes of many, I am an true outcast.

I eventually came to terms with what I was faced with, and instead of taking the route of continually being so depressed and not achieving anything positive, I accepted I had to let go, and erase them from my life. That included my two daughters.

In my experience, I’ve never heard a victim turn things around, though I would hope it’s happened. That has the effect of taking you down, but do not let it. Come to peace with your life and future, and the new people you will meet.

Well that’s depressing.  Why are these character assassinations so believed, that the victim himself is never told the accusations?  Amazing.  The effects are not small, the victim’s life is absolutely devastated.

From another comment, David:

Believe me moving away does not help to much, because I believe what people go through you still live with it. I to have the same problem. The whole thing of just turning off. When I wake up everything that has happened to me starts all over again. I think about it every moment. I make bad decisions because of what’s on my mind. There are times, when I too can’t get a breath in.

It not only extends through every moment of the victim’s life, but extends outward.  The victim’s stress is brought home to their family.  Marriages founder.  Divorces result.  The victim’s preoccupation (or spreading cancer of anxiety) distorts the victim’s judgement, and causes the victim to miss cues from others, sometimes important ones.  Sleep is hard, activated anxiety centers never go to sleep.

Imagine what Becca must have felt in her new town as she felt it all happening again.  Her silent screams as though she were on thin ice watching the cracks seek her out, following her from her past locations, powerless to affect or stop them.  Or perhaps she felt she was being pursued by ghosts that could strike her at will, but that she could neither see nor defend against.

We are all social animals.  We need secure communities of friends and believe we have them.  Victims of psychopathic character assassination know that is not true.  For them, what was once solid ground becomes a thin crust over a sea of acid.  They never know when a footfall will break through.

It should be pointed out that the psychopath’s aim is murder, murder by suicide.

The daisy chain of evil has to be broken.  Or perhaps a better metaphor would be the paper cutout doll chain needs to be broken lest it unfold into infinity, damaging all it touches.

But no one helps.  The psychopath’s whispering campaign is absolutely and totally believed.  The victim is almost never even told, ‘the word on the street about you is . . . ., thought you should know.’  Sad.

August 10, 2015:  I am simply stunned that no one has ever communicated the character assassination allegations against myself.  I once offered a woman who, from one day to the next, turned her head to the wall rather than say hello to me (and we had been workplace friends for years – this pattern happened repeatedly but slowly over the years, the psychopathic perp couldn’t risk my inner circle telling me), a hundred dollars if she (or her husband if she preferred) would tell me the whyfor.  Plenty of people who know me read this blog.  Comments can be totally anonymous.  There is no need to fill out any identifying field.  Further to protect their IP address, if desired, anyone can simply go to a copy center or internet cafe.  Comments are moderated so it is a private communication.  If preferred there are also many free and anonymous email account providers.  I just don’t get it.  Where’s the downside?  I would help and have helped others in similar situations.