I’m asking for assistance in getting to the bottom of a situation that has blighted my life for some time. There are enough people reading this who know me and this situation. For some years, I have been plagued by a character assassination campaign. Some, who I feel know me perfectly well, have from one day to the next chosen to face the wall rather than acknowledge me or seemed even very frightened of me. I have no idea what motivates them. The situation is truly insane, which is why I believe there is a psychopathic spider at the center of this web, currently probably the owner of the DPA/DPL license tags (I suspect, but don’t know for a fact, that these are NYPD tags), or perhaps a psychopathic group therapy client of my ex’s therapist. I’ve faced psychopathic tag teaming, gang stalking since the start of my work on psychopathy (though it actually started slightly earlier with personal conflict with particular psychopaths). The fact that the allegation(s) is/are apparently convincing is meaningless. Psychopaths are called confidence artists for a reason, they inspire confidence and the truth is irrelevant to them.
I don’t know whether these are all related, but first I noticed that members of an ex’s therapy group, suddenly become afraid of me. Some time later, I understand my ex had plastic surgery, becoming unrecognizable. I have no idea what she looks like. One night after thinking I might be in her presence (the rest of the group had been there) my wife and I were awoken around 3 am by two fax polling calls, from a number that turned out to be her personal number. She made fax polling calls to various phone numbers linked to me for over ten years. (Further, if interested, To the de Blasio administration, I hereby volunteer to identify NYPD whiteshirt psychopaths, gratis.)
I had nothing to do with any cause of her choosing to have plastic surgery. If she thought so, her therapists should have hospitalized her until she recovered from that psychotic break, if that was the cause. However, they are scared of me also. Once my wife and I were seated next to them in a restaurant and from their panicked glances at each other one would have thought Satan had sat near them. ‘Was it something I said? Wait, I hadn’t spoken to them in some 15 years. Oh, waiter . . .” There were other occurrences, though very rare, because I only ran in to them once or twice a year around our shared neighborhood. However, it culminated in 2012, when the husband (both are therapists) — well, I’m not inside his head, so let me give several possibilities — when the husband sought to menace/threaten me by lunging his car at me from a standing start all the while in the parking lane, or perhaps it was an impulsive murder attempt, or perhaps he always does jackrabbit starts and drives in the parking lane whenever possible and enjoys scattering pedestrians, I don‘t know. Clearly the lad was confused, so rather than having him arrested I had an attorney write a letter, my wish being to find out the motive for his bizarre behavior not his punishment. But nothing came of it. (See, For the record (private message transmitted publicly) and the de Blasio link above.)
In 2002, Sue Hudgins, the COO of PaineWebber’s Municipal Security Group (later UBS’s), came into a kitchen, stopped when she saw me and said “Something stinks in here,” and left. From then on she only glared at me in seeming disgust, though previously we had gotten along well, usually sharing small friendly conversations when we ran into each other.
Researchers into family life and psychopathy might be interested in interviewing Ms. Hudgins. I believe her father and at least two of her husbands were/are psychopaths. The children of psychopaths are very easy to recognize, there’s a constellation of deeply humiliated personality traits.
A witness that I was friendly with, said she’d try to find out the whyfors of Ms. Hudgins’ behavior towards me. Shortly she stopped talking to me also. ‘Huh, what??” I subsequently got into some trouble at work threatening legal action. At the time my father had said that I was attempting to accomplish with a jerk when a steady pull was called for. Since then my father has passed away and I still am in the dark. I had told him that I didn’t see why anyone would necessarily ever come forward. People don’t like involving themselves in possible legal complications, and people seem instinctively reluctant to involve themselves in anything messy or fantastical. And of course, now the situation is 10 – 20 times more fantastical. Also if the lie is big enough, the accused is essentially considered guilty until proven innocent (“No empath cares anything about proofs“, “Of course we shall never prove that he is responsible for it; but what does that matter?”, Psychopathic character assassination and murder-by-suicide as depicted in Orwell’s Burmese Days).
This is not a small thing. It’s like being in a boxing match with a ghost. We’re social animals, the feeling that the world is a thin layer of crust over lava underneath is crippling (see, From Country of Liars: Character Assassination). The psychopath survivor blogs talk of difficulty in concentrating and/or becoming hypervigilant in response.
In 2013 I entered into an academic program to move into a new direction and assure myself and my loved ones of financial security in my old age. At first it went very well, I found myself striding confidently into an eagerly awaited future, just like young people are supposed to do. I am not young of course, but it was a new beginning. But then my concentration started sliding, as the split concentration and the worry reasserted itself.
Hypervigilance is not all bad. I notice things that are “wrong” unconsciously. Regarding that car that had almost slammed me into a divider (see, Should I be concerned), I hadn’t taken my eye off of it since it entered the highway, something was just “wrong” about the way it was being driven.
Plus it once enabled me to stop a violent mugging in progress (Oct. 2011). I was driving west on Central Park North approaching Adam Clayton Powell Boulevard when I noticed two people in the dusk walking with one very close behind. Something seemed wrong. Then I saw them walking side by side and relaxed, thinking, ‘ah, boyfriend and girlfriend.’ However when they started merry-go-rounding around a contested bag, my response was, ‘oh, so that’s what’s going down,” and was able to respond immediately.
Now, the sequence above took place in my peripheral vision and the peripheral part of my mind. My main mind was concentrating on driving, paying attention to the other cars around me, planning my route, etc. However, once my peripheral mind realized what was happening, my main mind was ready to go, with no uptake of the slack and no confusion. The problem then was how to affect the outcome of the situation down the block which could be over in seconds. So I started gunning the engine, honking the horn, flashing the lights all to convey onrushing trouble for the perp. As I jammed on the brakes and turned to drive onto the curb, the mugger dropped his hold and ran back against the direction of traffic. The woman said that he had kept looking back and forth at me on the way and then at her and the bag, until fleeing. Fortunately my plan worked, for he had already slashed her in the neck with a knife and if another attempt had connected with an artery, things could have turned out very badly. (See, Should I worry about this (I don’t remember why I put the account there).)
However one needs to be able to concentrate fully in life. (After being laid off I also tried teaching myself piano and also guitar, but I couldn’t do it. I’m a professionally trained actor and singer, so these skills could have amounted to livelihoods.) The stress and split concentration affects all aspects of on one’s life. My wife: “Why do I always have to repeat everything twice, you don’t listen.” A physical activity teacher: “It’s not that you can’t hear, it’s that you aren’t listening.” Me: “Did you coordinate that with my wife?” (See “Country of Liars” link above.)
2015 is the final year I can start that academic program in time to finish in the time allotted. Somebody who knows me needs to stand up and let me in on the secret. “It is important that no charges be answerable” is no way to live (See, Psychopathic character assassination and murder-by-suicide as depicted in Orwell’s Burmese Days). In life as in court one deserves to know the charges against oneself. What’s so hard to understand about that?
Informing me anonymously would be fine, the only comment field necessary is the comment itself. Using a copy center/internet café would hide a personal IP address. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org, that’s another possibility, plus use a free email account if desired. But this nonsense has gone on long enough. Any help would be greatly appreciated.